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Drive somewhere by
yourself without crying the entire time.
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Get through a day
without feeling tired all the time.
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Concentrate on a
book, movie or television program.
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Not think of your
loved one for a period of time, however brief.
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Get through a few
hours or days nearly free of pain.
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Return to a daily
routine.
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Eat, sleep and
exercise normally again.
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Participate in a
religious service without crying.
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Accept invitations
from friends and family.
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Listen to music
you both loved without crying.
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Be more aware of
the pain and suffering of others around you.
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Be more patient
with yourself and with others.
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Notice others in
like circumstances, and recognize and accept that loss is a common life
experience.
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Reach out to
another in a similar situation.
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Realize that the
sometimes thoughtless comments of others stem from ignorance, not malice
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Find something to
be thankful for.
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Be patient with
yourself through grief attacks.
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Accept things as
they are without trying to recapture the way they used to be.
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Think less about
the past.
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Look forward to
the day ahead of you.
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Reach out to the
future less fearfully.
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Stop and notice
life’s little pleasures, the splendor of creation and the beauty in
nature.
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Catch yourself
smiling and laughing again.
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Feel comfortable
spending time alone.
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Remember your
loved one less idealistically— as less perfect, with more human than
saintly qualities
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Review both
pleasant and unpleasant memories without being overcome by them.
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Reinvest the time
and energy once spent on your loved one.
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Remodel your space:
rearrange furniture; change colors and textures of walls
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Re-make your image:
change your hairstyle, make-up or clothing.
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Explore new foods,
new places and new things.
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- Feel more in control
of your emotions and less overwhelmed by them.
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- Feel freer to choose
when and how to grieve.
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- Talk about your loss
more easily.
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- Feel less
preoccupied with yourself and your loss.
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- Feel a renewed
interest in giving love and receiving it.
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- Look back and see
your own progress.
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- Notice that time
doesn’t drag as much; the weekends aren’t as long.
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- Notice that the good
days outnumber the bad; the mood swings aren’t as wide; the time between
upsets is greater.
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- Plan the future more
effectively.
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- Think more clearly
and feel more in control of certain aspects of your life.
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- Make decisions and
take responsibility for the consequences.
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- Feel open to new and
healthy relationships while maintaining old ones.
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- Discover abilities
in yourself you haven’t developed before or didn’t even know you had.
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- Fill some of the
roles once filled by your loved one, or find others who can fill them.
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- Recognize that loss
has played an important part in your life, and that growth can be a
positive outcome.
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- Identify how this
experience has changed you for the better: what you’ve learned, what
you’ve become, and how you’ve grown.
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- Share the lessons
you have learned through loss with others.
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